I Kissed Dating Goodbye

I have never been so happy with the direction my life is taking, and it's getting easier every day. For anyone reading this review, please take heart and give this way of living a chance. The bad reviews sound like they are coming from people who do not have the conviction or will power to give up intimacy. You will meet many, many men/women like this, and they make it very hard to stick to your guns. And others make it sound like living like this makes it impossible to meet people - not true! You meet people of the same sex and become freinds, don't you? Just treat the opposite sex the same way while you are getting to know them! (Very hard, but not impossible!) And just let me say - for those who think that Joshua Harris did not have enough experience or was old enough to know what he was talking about, I believe it is God's message, through Josh, we are hearing when we read I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Please give it a chance - you will not regret it! I've gotten so many rewards already.

What Josh is trying to say is that we need to get rid of this idea of dating anyone who passes by, and instead wait to get to know someone as a friend, see how they act, see how they communicate. Once we get to really know them(something that never happens in a dating relationship because of the "feelings" you have) then we can decide if persuing a relationship would be the best thing.

I'm a guy, and unlike another reviewer, I still hold with Josh. Challenge your beliefs about dating, it will be worth it. Read his second book "Boy meets Girl". He's honest about his relationship with his wife. How he met her, how he pursued, and how he stayed pure until his wedding day. That's what it is all about.

I'm 26 and now "I've kissed dating goodbye," too. Having been incredibly hurt (and also causing an incredible amount of hurting) in my last supposedly-Christian relationship, the new, God-centered approach he outlines seems like exactly what God would have me do. I've learned to be content in this "season of singleness" and to seek to serve God and prepare for the future He has for me.

Harris' prayer for us is God's prayer (Phillipians 1:9-11, "That your love my abound more and more in knowledge and insight so that you may be able to discern what is best and be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruits of righteousness...") This is just one of literally tens of Biblical references that guides Harris every step of the way.

If I could have one wish, it was that I would have read this book in 11th grade, before I started dating. It would have saved me (and my ex-girlfriends) a lot of hurt. Thankfully, all things are made new in Christ, and it's never to late to be made new!

This book would also be great for married people! In fact, I gave a copy to my mom, both so that she can better understand her children, and also so that she can read about Harris' insights into God-centered relationships.

Harris challenges us to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ by protecting both our and their purity, and by not pursuing romantic relationships, contact or activities until God has prepared us and has given us the person He would have us be with. No, he doesn't advocate becoming a hermit. On the contrary, his approach teaches us to cultivate deeper (100% Godly) relationships with members of the opposite sex, carried out only in group settings, so "that nothing need be hidden." I've now got a "passion for purity" in relationships and life in general! While we can never completely eliminate sin, we are either progressing toward or away from purity. Previously, I had been stepping away too often.

It also lays out a Godly path for dealing with tough situations in relationships. And it concludes with a helpful section on how to move toward marriage with a potential spouse in a Godly-fashion when God has ordained the "when" and the "who"! Rather than being an "obligation" to wait to date, Harris presents it in a way that makes me feel priveleged to serve God (and myself and His Children) in this way.

Harris also includes many good references for further reading. I'm reading one of those books now, called "The Rich Single Life" by C.J. Mahaney. It's also outstanding.

I guarantee you've never read a book on relationships like this. As Harris says, "this is not a "how to date" book but a "how to break up with dating book!"" It's impossible to say too many good things about this book.

I've learned the importance of preparation, service, humility, contentedness, prayer, purity, love, gentleness, self-control, patience, knowledge, tenderness, compassion, vision, listening, and so much else.

I'm literally on-line right now buying a case of this book to give away to friends & family. I've already given away 3 copies. In the inscription on my brother's (age 16) copy, I wrote "This may be the most important gift I've ever given you."

I would strongly encourage anyone, whether in a relationship or not, Christian or not, to get this book and STUDY it immediately. It will change your life, too!

This book is written so that you can absorb the information printed and then apply what you feel God is calling you to. No, you probably will not agree with everything he has to say. I didn't agree with everything he had to say, but I agreed with most of it. It all comes down to the convictions of your own heart.

I was really saddened by reading some of the other reviews. Mr. Harris did not say that dating was a sin. He explicitly said he did not believe that in the book. So many of my friends feel like they always need to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. The problem is, they always believe they hav found the one they are going to marry, then a couple of months later, they break up. I think that you have to be right with God, know who you are, and know where God wants you to be before you can add another person into your life. Then God will send the person for you into your life.

To the man who said premarital sex was alright, I don't agree with you. What happens if you don't end up marrying that person? So many people get engaged and never get married. I believe that if you are truly in God's will and are marrying the one he has chosen for you, then knowing if you are sexually compatible before marriage does not matter.