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Looking to get your ex back is not an easy process. You may have all kinds of ideas and thoughts about what you want to say and do. However, when you are trying to get back with him or her, it takes careful consideration and planning. Mistakes do happen in relationships and you may feel that another chance can bring the two of your closer.
You will need to figure out why you want to get your ex back. If the bad outweighs the good, then you may have a good edge to get back with them. If you are doing it to keep him or her away from other suitable prospects, then you will be disappointed. If you are serious about how much you miss your ex, then by all means, give it a chance.
You must sit down and think about why you broke up. Look at both sides of the relationship. There were probably things that he did that you did not like; certainly there were things that you did that she did that you did not like. Once you realize where you went wrong, you can start making corrections and amends.
You will have to work on making those amends if you intend to get back with your ex. It is important not to allow things to be the same as they were before you broke up the first time. If one of you has an explosive temper, hopefully the time away from each other has changed that attitude.
If one of you was a frivolous spender, hopefully you have learned that you need to get your finances in order. What if you guys were married, then what? You would be in big trouble as a couple.
Both of you need to prove to each other that you are willing and ready to change. The only way to show that is through action. The action must be consistent. It can’t be a onetime thing and then go back to your old ways.
Set up a meeting with your ex. This way, both of you can see where the other is going. Talk out your issues and concerns. See where both of you are headed. You need to be committed prior to getting back together.
If you start early before the reconciliation, it will be easier to keep doing it once you two connect again. The reunion has to beneficial for both parties in order for it to survive.
There was the time when you and your ex had a loving relationship. You cuddled, you kissed, and you just couldn’t stay away from each other. Now that you have broken up and trying to get back together, it can feel weird because you’ve been away from each other for a while. However, there are some ways to rekindle that love you once had:
- Change the way you look. If you used to look ordinary, spice it up. For women, it could mean getting new clothes and a new hairstyle. Men like to see women looking their best. With men, they can step it up a notch in the clothing department as well. When you’re on a date, try wearing dress pants instead of jeans all of the time. Get some new perfume or cologne.
- Take things slow. There’s no reason to rush into anything. Keep the lines of communication open. It’s also important to keep eye contact. You will know whether or not they are really serious about getting back together.
- Compliment each other. People like compliments. It helps to boost their self esteem. You can reminisce about the good times you guys shared. Plus, you can make them happen again when the time is right.
- Don’t be in a rush for that loving feeling. You have to make sure that you are open to receive. Don’t bring baggage in from previous relationships. Rushing can push your ex away. They may not want to come back after that.
- Go at a slow, but steady pace. You want to be their friend first. Everything else will work itself out.
- Be yourself and your ex will appreciate you for it. If they knew your personality back then and wasn’t offended, then rest assured you have no reason to make changes.
Don’t come on too strong. Your ex can get offended and go elsewhere.
There are signs that your ex wants you back—however, be aware that it may just be wishful thinking on your part. So don’t get caught up in their initial actions. Give it some time and you will see if it’s the real deal.
However, there are some actual genuine signs that your ex is looking to get back with you:
- Your ex constantly keeps in touch with you.
- Your ex enjoys your company.
- Your ex has no serious relationships and has mentioned that to you.
- Your ex likes talking to you.
- Your ex wants to be around you, whether it’s on a date or not.
- Your ex talks to you about serious issues—he or she initiates it and depends on you to listen.
- Your ex calls you just to say hello.
- They encourage you to keep the communication going.
- Your ex is interested in getting to know you again.
- Your ex initiates wanting to see more of you.
- They feel at peace when they are around do.
- They want to keep up with you and not let you out of their sight.
- They lose weight to impress you.
- They don’t make a big deal if something goes wrong.
- Your ex does not want to break the connection they have with you.
- Talks about other girls, but shows no interest towards them.
- Asks if you are interested in someone else.
- Makes sexy gestures when he or she is in your presence
- Stares in your eyes for a few minutes.
- Is confident that getting back together is the right move.
- Be a little quieter than you were before. Don’t talk as much. That will make him or her ask more questions and become curious.
If you are really serious about getting your ex back, just as you need to do some things, there are also some things that you need to avoid: Heeding the warnings can help you move back closer into the relationship that you once had with your ex:
- Avoid being straightforward and upfront. That can be a sign of neediness and desperation on your part.
- Don’t use expletives, especially if you did not use them before in your relationship with your ex. Using expletives is not ladylike nor is it gentlemanlike either. It can put a bad taste in your ex’s mouth.
- Be nice to your ex. Otherwise, they won’t want to give you the time of day.
- Don’t set them up with your other friends. If you want him or her for yourself, you need to act like it.
- Be yourself and don’t start acting like anyone else. Don’t be fake. Don’t be or act like something that you’re not. Your ex will be able to see right through you. They want you just as you are.
- Jealousy is not a good feeling to have. When you get jealous, you start to feel insecure and not trustworthy of your ex. You get scared that your ex is seeing someone else. When you start feeling like that, then you are jeopardizing the reconciliation.
- Don’t make your ex jealous. They will realize that you are playing games and may not want to participate.
- Don’t use his or her best friend as leverage to get back at your ex.
- Don’t lie to your ex. Be truthful with him or her. They will be able to trust you easier when you’re honest with them.
- Do not let on to him or her how much you miss them, at least not immediately. Wait until the relationship has gotten more serious again to do that. If you do it too soon, you may run your ex away.
- Don’t start flirting right away. A nice smile says it all. Later on when you and your ex start to get close again, then you may think about flirting with him or her.
- Don’t give yourself up for him or her quickly. Then your ex will see you as an easy catch. After that, they may not be around much longer.
- Avoid being pushy. That can push your ex away from you for good.
- Take your time about getting back with your ex. If you rush it, you may mess up a potentially good thing.
- If they want you back, you will know it. Don’t fawn all over them trying to find out. Everything happens in its own time.
When you are starting over again with your ex, don’t be in a hurry. Take your time and don’t overdo it. Your ex will be able to sense that desperation in your actions and by what you say. Take it day by day and allow the process to take its course.
Being desperate will do nothing but push your ex away. Think about what you guys did on your first date. Maybe you went to the movies or to the museum. Try doing some of the things that you did when you were dating the first time. You’re basically starting over anyway, so why not start from the beginning.
Don’t call each other every day starting out. You must give you ex space and time to be alone. Allow them to miss you for a few days. If you are always talking to them on the phone or seeing them every day, then they cannot miss you. Eventually, they may get tired of being around you before it’s all said and done.
With your free time, you can find other activities that will keep you busy. Engage in activities that you were involved in before the ex came back into your life. You can take a walk in the park, or get together with friends over dinner.
Or you can go to the movies by yourself. If you don’t like to do that, then rent some movies to watch at home. You must remember that having that space is crucial in order for both parties to appreciate one another.
Don’t be so bold as to let them know that you want to go out with them once you guys get back together. Start out as a platonic friendship and work it from there. Make eye contact as you are talking to each other.
Don’t show your feelings too soon. Wait and you will know when the time is right to do that. Keep a friendly atmosphere and once it’s time to move to the next step, you will know.
Make sure to avoid the attachment phase. You have to be an independent person and think for yourself. Men, in particular prefer women who are independent. They may not say it, but if they sense that you are needy, some of them will play the stringing game. They will string you along until they have no more use for you.
You are responsible for making and keeping yourself happy. Don’t depend on anyone else to do it for you. If you do, you will be disappointed. Once you channel into your independent mode, your ex will notice and will probably crawl back to you. They will realize what they missed and will do anything to get you back into his or her good graces.
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